But how do you do that for Kim Kardashian? In any other story about any other person, right about now you’d expect to read a tidy paragraph that sums up the person’s relevant facts into a neat little nut. In the almost two decades that we’ve known her, Kim Kardashian’s star has only ascended. “When this all goes to shit, I’m going to start a consultancy firm.”īut of course, all this isn’t going to shit. “I have notes of the best doctors, the best everything,” she says, getting back to her facial-advisory skills. If I ever had to put on a bra and underwear for my Sunset Boulevard billboard, I can’t imagine a nicer place to do it. In the glam room, the real Kim and I are surrounded by empty clothing racks, a few shampoo sinks, mirrors, lights, plush sofas, and quiet.
The foyer is covered with magazines, all starring our host: Kim dripping wet, Kim and her sisters, Kim as sculpture, Kim naked bending a knee, Kim as a sorceress from the future. At one point Kardashian and I walk past a creamy gray Bentley - so also a garage? Should you wander in off the street without realizing where you were, it wouldn’t take you long to figure it out. It’s like being inside the world’s most enormous and expensive cinder block. A stone sofa here, poured concrete table there, a photo studio, a showroom, offices, rooms the size of airplane hangars connected by cavernous hallways that make you feel like you should whisper. From the outside, it’s just a building in an office park - as unremarkable and non-descript as the human resources building of Bon Voyage ProStar Life Insurance Blah Blah Company. We are sitting in her “glam room” (her words) inside KKHQ in Calabasas, California. Can I send a photo? What should I do?’ I am super honest: ‘Okay, you should try this facial or this laser.’” So you can understand how I’d want to get in on that. I met Kardashian only a few minutes before this, when she told me, “People write all the time to say, ‘I heard you’re a really good facial consultant. Oh, and I could stand some microblading in my eyebrows.īefore you blame her for being judgmental and mean, I should say that I absolutely asked for it.
The way a grandmother might confirm that the melon she had said all along was overripe was, in fact, overripe. After what feels like a long while, Kim Kardashian stops staring at my forehead and says I should get Botox.